


Chasing Fairytales

by J2love (kinksock22)



Series: Fairy Tales [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angsty Schmoop, Barebacking, Bottom Jared, Established Relationship, M/M, RPS - Freeform, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 13:15:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6196429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinksock22/pseuds/J2love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen and Jared are getting married but it seems that there are still things that are trying to keep them from getting their happily ever after; mostly themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing Fairytales

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one from sinful-desire.org under J2love written on 6/20/13. Sequel to Once Upon A Times and Happily Ever Afters

Jared looks up from his text book, glancing at the clock, a groan grumbling in his chest. God, he’s been at this for  _hours_  and it doesn’t seem like he’s ever going to finish. He stands up, sighing softly as he stretches his back, the bones in his spine popping. He’s not used to this shit anymore. Hell, it’s been over four years since he’s had to study.   
  
After a lot of conversations – and coaxing and one tiny freak-out where Jared considering running away again – with both Jensen and Sophia, they managed to talk Jared into going back to school. He’s still not sure what the hell he wants to do, he just knows that he wants to make a difference, to give a little back, maybe help people like him. Sophia and Jensen are both very supportive and think it’s a fantastic idea but sometimes Jared wonders, sometimes he still feels like he’s nothing but a whore from the streets. But thankfully, those feelings are few and far between now; especially since he finally let himself believe in Jensen, his own knight in shining armor.   
  
Jared snorts to himself, shaking his head, trying to decide when  _exactly_  he started thinking like a twelve-year-old girl, as he wanders into the kitchen. He digs through the fridge, trying to find something to munch on until Jensen gets home from work and they can have supper. Even though it’s been two years that he’s been with Jensen, sometimes he still can’t get over the fact that this is his life now. All domesticated, and ‘hey, honey. How was your day?’ and dinner together every night and lazy Sunday mornings in bed. Even before he ran away from Texas, he never really thought this was something he’d ever have. And it  _still_ manages to scare the fuck out of him.  
  
He trusts Jensen. There’s no doubt about that. The older man has been practically a fucking  _saint_  and Jared knows that he owes Jensen his life – and not just because he was the one who helped save him from JD. If Jeff hadn’t killed him, the streets would have. So, no, Jensen’s not the problem. The problem is still Jared.   
  
He’s never really had anything good in his life, up until the last two years, aside from Genevieve. He honestly doesn’t think he knows  _how_  to be truly happy. But he’s trying. He works on it every day, tries to make himself believe that he and Jensen will have their happily ever after, no matter what that means.  
  
What still terrifies him though is he has so much to lose if things go wrong.   
  
He knows that he can’t ever go back to a life without Jensen. That was the one thing that’s scared him from the beginning. He didn’t want to come to depend on Jensen to survive. But somehow, it happened anyway. He’d be lost without Jensen, would probably shrivel up and die. And even though Jensen is amazing and wonderful and damn-near perfect, Jared still wonders in the back of his head when the other shoe will drop.   
  
He frowns when the doorbell rings, once again glancing at the clock. Gen’s in class and Steve and Chris are both working and Sophia and Chad had already been there earlier. He doesn’t think it’d be Jensen, unless his boyfriend – fiancé; fuck he doesn’t think he’ll  _ever_  get used to that – forgot his key.  
  
The bell rings again and with a shrug, Jared goes to answer the door. The honest-to-God last person he thought it would be is Danneel but sure enough, there she stands.  
  
Jared has mostly forgiven her for what happened before – even if Jensen really hasn’t. Sure, his boyfriend is thankful that she found him outside Steve’s that day but he can’t forgive the part he feels she played in driving Jared away in the first place. Jared doesn’t hold that same grudge. The woman was hurting after losing Jensen and in Jared’s eyes, she was just being honest.  
  
Doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt just as bad as it did a year ago.   
  
“Hello, Jared,” she says softly, giving him a small smile.   
  
“Uh, hey, Danneel. What… Um, Jensen’s not here,” he mutters.   
  
Her smile grows a bit and she shakes her head. “Actually, I came by to talk to you.”  
  
Jared blinks, not sure what the hell to say to that, and nods, opening the door further so she can step inside. Her gaze moves around the house, stopping briefly on Jensen’s pictures, before refocusing on him. Finally remembering his manners, Jared leads her to the living room. “You want something to drink?” he asks, mostly just stalling for time.  
  
“No, thank you though. I won’t be long.” She pauses, sighing softly as she sits down on the couch. Jared sits in the chair next to her, picking at a loose thread on the knee of his jeans. “This isn’t easy for me,” she starts softly once he’s settled. “But I… I’ve had a lot of time to think over the last several months. I… I would’ve come by sooner, but I wanted to give all of us some time to cool off and for things to settle down,” she inhales deeply, her dark eyes finally locking with Jared’s. “I wanted to apologize. Officially, I mean. I didn’t… I didn’t handle the break-up with Jensen well, as you know,” she adds with a tiny little snort, “But that’s my issue to deal with. And I shouldn’t have been so horrible to you. I mean, it wasn’t your fault that Jensen left me, not really. Things had been going downhill for months before he even met you. I just… I didn’t want to see it. So I held on too tightly.” She pauses again, sniffling softly. “I’m sorry, Jared. I really am.”  
  
Jared honestly doesn’t know what to say to that. He never felt like Danneel owed him anything, let alone an apology. He opens his mouth to say something, not sure  _what_  but something, when he’s interrupted by the front door opening and Jensen’s voice calling out, “Baby? ‘m home.”  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jensen drops his keys on the table beside the door, and heads into the living room where he’s sure Jared is. He stops just inside the room, his gaze immediately locking on Danneel. Her eyes are wide, a little wet, and she’s staring up at him. Jared gets up out of the chair, crossing to him, instantly wrapping his arms around Jensen’s waist. “Hey,” Jared says softly, gently grabbing Jensen’s chin, forcing him to look at Jared. “’s okay,” Jared assures, smiling softly. “She just came to apologize.”  
  
Honestly, Jensen wants to believe that, he really does. He wants to believe that he wasn’t completely wrong about Danneel but the memory of what happened to Jared, because of her, still lingers in his mind, still breaks his heart when Jared goes quiet and gets lost in his head, his fingers absentmindedly smoothing over the barely-there scar on his wrist.   
  
He gives Jared a small smile and presses a soft kiss to his lips. “Gimme a sec, ‘kay?” he asks quietly.  
  
Jared rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Yes, dear,” he whispers playfully, kissing Jensen again before heading into the kitchen. Jensen watches him go, making sure that his fiancé is completely in the other room before turning back to his ex. He sits down in the chair Jared vacated, one eyebrow quirked as he looks over at Danneel. “What’re you doin’?” he finally asks.  
  
“I seriously came here to apologize,” she insists.   
  
Jensen narrows his eyes, searching Danneel’s face, trying to see if he can tell if she’s lying or not. “Why? And why now?”  
  
Inhaling deeply, Danni shakes her head, glancing toward the kitchen. “As I told Jared, I wanted to come sooner but after everything, I figured it would be best if we all had time to cool off and for things to settle down. And I’ve done a lot of thinking during that time. I… I realize that I was wrong. I blamed Jared, I wanted it to be his fault. But it wasn’t, not really. If it wasn’t him, it would’ve eventually been someone else.” She pauses, leaning closer. “I didn’t tell Jared this, but your mom keeps calling me, Jen.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Yeah,” Danni sighs, shaking her head again. “I mean, it’s getting kinda ridiculous. I’ve told her, time and again, that it’s over between us. She seems to think if I’d just talk some sense into you, things’ll work out. I don’t wanna cause problems, Jensen, I really don’t. But I wanted to tell you that and to apologize to Jared. And I have.”  
  
Jensen nods and stands up when Danneel does, walking her to the door. “Thanks, Danni. Seriously. It, uh, it means a lot that you’d apologize to Jared.”  
  
“Yeah, well, I kinda owe you one, too,” she says softly. “I  _am_  sorry, Jensen. I hope you and Jared are very happy together.”  
  
“We are,” Jensen confirms, smiling. Before she can walk out the door, Jensen pulls her into a quick hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Maybe someday we can at least be friends again.”  
  
She smiles sadly, her eyes still a little shiny. “Maybe someday. Take care, Jensen.”  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jared looks up from the pot of water he’s boiling for noodles, smiling softly as Jensen walks into the kitchen. Jensen immediately pulls him into a hug, his lips pressed to Jared’s temple. “You okay?” Jensen whispers.  
  
“Yeah, ‘course I am.” Jared pulls back enough to look at Jensen, frowning at the look of concern darkening his eyes. “What’s wrong, babe?”  
  
“Mostly, just worried about you, worried that she upset you.”  
  
“She didn’t,” Jared says softly, pulling away from Jensen so he can concentrate on fixing dinner. “I mean, it was a shock but it didn’t upset me.”  
  
Jensen wraps his arms around Jared again, leaning against his back, looking over his shoulder at the pans on the stove. “My mom’s been calling Danni,” he says quietly. Jared can feel the tension in Jensen’s whole body, knows that his boyfriend is concerned that all this is going to cause him to have another panic attack or a set-back. And it’s not an unfair assumption.   
  
Granted, it’s been a year – or well, 13 months if he wants to be technical – since the day Danneel found him behind Steve’s bar, bleeding out from a cut to his wrist, but there are still days when he struggles just to get out of bed, when he can still feel the weight of what happened pressing down on his shoulders. There are times when he still thinks Jensen would be better off without him, that there’s someone else out there that deserves Jensen’s love and devotion more than him. There are times when he gets so down and depressed and angry that he doesn’t want to see  _anyone_ , so he hides in the spare room upstairs, avoiding Jensen and all their well-meaning friends. And there are even still times that he wishes Jeff would’ve killed him that night or that Danneel hadn’t found him.   
  
But through it all, Jensen’s always right there, giving him space if he really needs it, or pushing Jared to let him in when he _thinks_  what he wants is space but what he  _really_  needs is Jensen’s touch, his love.   
  
With a sigh, he turns off the stove – there’s no way he can concentrate on dinner right now – and turns around in Jensen’s arms. There’s a small frown on Jensen’s plump lips and a furrow between his eyebrows and his eyes are wide where he’s looking up at Jared. “What’s she want?” Jared eventually asks, even though he knows the answer already.  
  
“For Danni to talk some sense into me,” Jensen mutters, shaking his head. “Honestly, I can’t… It’s just freakin’ ridiculous, ya know?”  
  
“I do,” Jared answers softly, smiling a bit as he brings one hand up, his thumb smoothing over the crease between Jensen’s brows. “But… I mean, you knew that they weren’t happy about this, babe. They made that perfectly clear when they were here. So what if she’s callin’ Danni? ‘s not like it’s gonna change anything.”   
  
Jensen freaking beams up at him, that bright smile that he reserves for when Jared does something adorable or when Jared says something like that – proof that he believes in what they have, believes in Jensen – lighting up his face. Jared rolls his eyes, muttering, “Shuddup.”   
  
Jensen’s smile doesn’t dim but he presses a kiss to the side of Jared’s lips. “Damn right it doesn’t change anything,” Jensen whispers, soft but firm. “Don’t care what anyone else says. I love you and ‘m gonna marry you.”  
  
“Sap,” Jared teases, even though it makes his heart skip a beat like the world’s worst kind of cliché when Jensen says shit like that.  
  
“Hmm,” Jensen merely hums in response. “Let’s just order dinner,” he says after a few moments, his hands sliding down Jared’s back, palms fitting over the cheeks of Jared’s ass. “Later,” he adds, rocking his hips forward just enough so that Jared can feel the half-hard line of his cock.   
  
“Somethin’ else you got in mind?” Jared asks. He means it to be teasing but it comes out a lot softer, breathier, than he meant. Jensen always has that effect on him.   
  
“A few things, actually,” Jensen practically purrs, kneading the globes of Jared’s ass.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jared licks his lips, his hands sliding up Jensen’s chest. “Wanna share with the class?”  
  
“’m more of a show than tell kinda guy,” Jensen teases, one hand sliding up Jared’s back under his t-shirt, the warm, slightly sweat-damp skin feels amazing and just that small bit of contact is enough to have Jensen’s head spinning already. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of touching Jared, of feeling that baby-soft flesh over rippling muscle.   
  
“Well then show me,” Jared taunts, mischief and love and heat in his eyes.   
  
“My pleasure,” Jensen whispers, walking Jared backward down the hall, toward their bedroom. “Strip,” he commands softly once they’re in the room. Jared raises one eyebrow but quickly shucks out of his jeans and t-shirt, standing tall and proud and beautiful in just a pair of sinfully tight white boxer briefs that leave  _nothing_  to the imagination.   
  
Jensen licks his lips, his teeth scraping across the bottom one as he strips as well. Jared’s eyes flutter closed when Jensen’s hands slide over his hips, a low, broken moan tearing from his throat when Jensen bites down on his collar bone. “So fuckin’ gorgeous, baby,” Jensen rasps against the sweat-salty skin, his tongue laving over the place he bit down. He pushes down Jared’s briefs, his hands sliding down over thick thighs, a fresh shot of arousal zinging down his spine when the muscles clench slightly under his touch. He loves how responsive Jared is, how just the smallest, lightest touch makes his muscles ripple beautifully.  
  
Jared gasps softly when Jensen pushes him down onto the mattress, a dark look in those tip-tilted hazel eyes when he looks up at Jensen and lets his thighs fall open obscenely wide. He’s resting back on his elbows, long, muscular body spread out for Jensen like the world’s best sacrifice and there are so many deliciously dirty things Jensen wants to do to him.   
  
After pushing off his own shorts, Jensen crawls onto the mattress, knee-walking his way between Jared’s long legs, his hands sliding up the inside of Jared’s thighs, over the sinfully perfect V-cut of muscle. Leaning down, he nuzzles against the soft swell of Jared’s balls, inhaling the musky, heady scent of his boyfriend’s arousal. “Jensen,” Jared murmurs, his thighs twitching slightly around Jensen’s shoulders.   
  
“Shh,” Jensen whispers. “Gonna take my time.”  
  
Jared groans, falling back against the mattress when Jensen sucks just the head of his cock into his mouth. Jensen hollows his cheeks, digging the tip of his tongue into the slit, chasing after the familiar salty-sweet tang of pre-come. Jared pushes himself back up, their eyes locking, a long moan tearing from Jared’s throat when Jensen swallows him down further. “Fuck, babe,” Jared gasps. “Your fuckin’  _mouth_.” Jared reaches down, his palm sliding over Jensen’s cheek, his thumb rubbing against the side of Jensen’s lips where they’re connected.  
  
Jensen cups the heavy swell of Jared’s sac, his fingers just barely pressing against the rim of his hole, enough pressure to feel but not enough to breach the tight ring of muscle and Jared moans again, his hand sliding around the back of Jensen’s head. “Jensen,” he rasps. “Wait, babe. Wanna suck you too.”  
  
Jensen moans around the stiff flesh between his lips, licking over the thick vein before pulling away. “Fuck yeah,” he growls.   
  
Jared smirks and sits up all the way, wrapping one long arm around his waist. “Switch me spots.”  
  
Jensen leans forward and smashes their lips together, shoving his tongue into Jared’s mouth, kissing him wet and sloppy and almost brutal as he lies down. Jared pulls away with a gasp, nipping at his bottom lip before turning around. He backs up and throws one long leg across Jensen’s chest, his ass presented perfectly in front of Jensen’s face. “Fuck, baby,” Jensen groans, grabbing the firm globes of his ass and pulling him toward his mouth more.   
  
Jared immediately takes Jensen’s cock between his lips, sucking eagerly. Jensen moans, lifting his head enough to run his tongue along the cleft of Jared’s ass, from the back of his balls, over his hole. Jared thrusts his hips down just barely, his cock rubbing against Jensen’s chest. Jensen smirks at his not-so-subtle boyfriend and grabs his cock, slipping it back into his mouth.   
  
Jared moans and takes Jensen in further, his fingers sliding through the spit and pre-come leaking down Jensen’s shaft before sliding back more, circling lightly around Jensen’s rim. Jensen spreads his legs further apart, silently encouraging Jared to take what he wants, trying to get those exploring fingers inside him. He may prefer to be the one in control – hell, they both prefer it that way – but he’s sure as hell not opposed to Jared’s long, slender fingers inside him.   
  
Mirroring Jared’s intentions, Jensen slides two of his own fingers into his mouth next to Jared’s cock, getting them nice and wet, before pushing them inside Jared, his cock twitching in Jared’s mouth at the sensation of Jared’s tight, wet heat. Jared thrusts his hips again, just barely fucking down into Jensen’s mouth and back against his fingers as he slides his own finger inside Jensen.   
  
It feels fucking amazing and Jensen doesn’t know why the fuck they haven’t done this before but then Jared hits his prostate and he can’t think of anything else besides  _hot, wet, more_.   
  
Neither of them last too long after that, Jared’s moan when he comes down Jensen’s throat vibrating along his cock sending Jensen over the edge of few heartbeats behind. Jared takes just enough time to turn around before collapsing on the mattress next to Jensen, a soft, sated grin on his face. “Fuck that was good,” he rasps.   
  
Jensen chuckles and pulls his sweaty boyfriend against his side and wraps his arms around him. “Damn right it was.” He presses a quick, dirty kiss to Jared’s lips, smirking when he pulls back. “We are so doing that again.”   
  
Jared laughs – bright and loud and beautiful – and snuggles closer. “Hell yeah we are,” he answers around a dimpled grin. “But first you need to feed me and I need to rest for a minute.”   
  
Jensen smirks again, his hand sliding down Jared’s back. “Wear ya out, did I, baby?” he teases.   
  
“Hm,” Jared hums, his eyes sliding closed. “You’ve gotten pretty freakin’ good at the gay sex thing,” he teases back, laughing again when Jensen snorts and tackles him back against the mattress.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jared smiles when Gen looks up, a bright grin pulling up the corners of her lips even as her brow furrows in confusion. “What’re you doin’ here?” she asks. “Didn’t think you were workin’ tonight.”  
  
“’m not.” Jared sighs as he plops down on a stool at the bar. “Was wonderin’ if you had a second. I kinda need’ta talk to you.”  
  
“Of course,” she answers immediately. “I’ve always got time for you.”   
  
Jared watches as she walks over to talk to Steve, a small smile curling his lips as Steve bends down to press a kiss to her lips. He’s glad that things worked out between the two of them. Gen grabs his arm and drags him off the stool, linking their fingers together as they step outside into the cool evening air. It’s going to be fall soon. Jared can’t believe another year is almost over.   
  
They walk the block and a half to Gen and Steve’s house in silence, content to just be together for the moment. There are times when he misses it just being the two of them but he’s glad that they’ve both found someone to make them happy, that they’ve both found someone to love them as much as they love each other.   
  
Once they’re inside, Gen pulls him to the couch and pushes him down, instantly curling up against his side, her feet tucked under his leg. “So, why’re you avoiding Jensen?” she asks without preamble.  
  
“’m not,” Jared insists.  
  
Gen snorts and shakes her head. “If you just wanted to talk, you’d’a picked up the phone and called. So, therefore, you’re avoiding Jensen for some reason.”  
  
Jared sighs and drops his head against her shoulder, smiling despite the things swirling in his head when she wraps one arm around him, her tiny fingers playing with his hair. Sometimes he really loves that she knows him so well, it makes it easier to be able to open up, especially when the subject is difficult. “’m… ‘m not really avoidin’ him,” he eventually says softly. “But I… I did want to talk to you without him around.”  
  
“Okay,” she coaxes when he trails off.  
  
“Danni stopped by the house yesterday. She, uh, she said that she wanted to apologize for everything. But she also told Jensen that his mom has been callin’ her, a lot.”  
  
Genevieve hums softly in the back of her throat, her nails dragging over Jared’s scalp. “And you’re worried.”  
  
“I don’t…” Jared huffs a sigh, “I don’t wanna be. But I just… I can’t help it, ya know? I try to be strong for Jensen, to not let him see that sometimes I still worry ‘bout shit like this but I just… I don’t know,” he finishes softly, another sigh escaping his lips.  
  
“’s okay to worry,” she says softly. “And it’s okay to be honest with Jensen. I think you  _should_  be honest with Jensen. He loves you, JT. And I know that he’ll do anything he can to help you feel better about this.”  
  
“But I shouldn’t still be worried about this,” Jared replies softly, turning his head and pressing his face against the crook of her neck. “He’s been amazin’, Gen. There’s no reason for me to still doubt him, or us.”  
  
“I don’t think you are. I think you’re just worried that Danni’s up to something again. Or that Jensen’s parents are. Those are rational worries, sweetie. Especially after everything you’ve been through.”  
  
And that’s one of the reasons that he loves Gen so fucking much. She just gets him, without him having to say what’s really going on inside. “What do I do?” he whispers.  
  
“Talk to Jensen,” she says quietly. “As for Danni, I could always beat the hell outta her for ya.”  
  
Jared snorts a laugh, pulling back enough to look up at her. “That’s somethin’ I’d actually love to see.”  
  
Genevieve wrinkles her nose but there’s mischief shining in her dark eyes. “I bet you would. Pervert.”  
  
“Ew, not like that!” Jared gasps, mock horrified. “But it’d seriously be fuckin’ hilarious. Can you imagine? Bet she’s never been in a fight, like ever. Probably afraid she’d break a nail or somethin’.”   
  
Gen chuckles softly and pushes his head back down on her shoulder. “True,” she agrees. “But seriously. Just… just take it as it comes, JT. What you have with Jensen, it’s the real deal, babe. Whether you believe it completely or not. And if Danni or his parents are up to something, it’s not gonna make one bit’a difference.” She pauses, her fingers tugging slightly on his hair. “Y’all set a date for the wedding yet?”  
  
“Yeah,” Jared breathes, a smile curling up his lips. “This spring. Jensen wanted to do it on his birthday but I talked him into doin’ it after. Sometime in April. Haven’t set the actual date yet though.”  
  
“Why’re you waitin’?”  
  
“Neither of us really wanna do it when it’s cold,” Jared answers around a shrug.  
  
“You could always run away, elope in like Hawaii or somethin’,” she teases. “’s always warm there.”  
  
“Nah, we want y’all to be there.”   
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jensen sets his book aside, smiling when Jared crawls into bed next to him. “Hey,” he whispers, frowning a bit when Jared wraps his arms around Jensen’s waist, scooting so close he’s damn-near in Jensen’s lap. Jared’s gotten good at being affectionate but this just feels different to Jensen, almost desperate, like he gets when things are weighing him down again. “You okay, Jay?”  
  
“Yeah,” Jared sighs, tucking his head under Jensen’s chin.  
  
“Everything okay with Gen?”  
  
“Of course.” Jared pauses, huffing another sigh, pressing his face against Jensen’s neck. “She said I should talk to you.”  
  
“If you need to, you know you can,” Jensen answers softly, his hand rubbing up and down Jared’s t-shirt covered back. It’s rare that Jared comes to bed with clothes on, just another sign that things aren’t as okay with Jared as he’s trying to make Jensen believe.  
  
“I know,” Jared whispers. “’s just… I don’t want you to worry and I know you’re gonna.”  
  
“I worry ‘cause I love you, Jay.”  
  
“I know that, too.” Heaving another sigh, Jared pulls away, sitting up so that he’s facing Jensen. “Mostly, I am okay,” Jared starts softly, his fingers twisting together in the hem of his shirt. Sometimes, it’s still startling to see Jared so insecure, so young, and it breaks Jensen’s heart. “I… It bothered me more than I let on when Danni stopped by yesterday,” Jared eventually confesses. “I mean, she didn’t say anything mean or hateful it’s just… Ugh, fuck, I don’t know, Jensen.” He runs one hand through his hair, pulling slightly on the messy strands. “I just… I’m worried that she’s up to somethin’ or that your parents are. And it… it scares me, Jen.”  
  
Truthfully, Jensen didn’t actually believe that Jared was okay, he wanted to, but he kind of had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be that easy. “It doesn’t matter if they are up to something,” Jensen says softly. “Nothin’ else matters, Jared. Nothing. Okay? ‘m not goin’ anywhere, baby.”  
  
“I know that,” Jared snaps. He inhales deeply, closes his eyes. “’m sorry… I don’t mean to get upset with you,” he adds quietly after a moment, finally reopening his eyes. “’s not you ‘m worried about, Jen. ‘s me.”  
  
“I won’t let anyone hurt you,” Jensen promises. “Never again, sweetheart.”  
  
“’m still… ‘m still not a hundred percent, Jensen, you know that.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“What if something happens and it sets me back?”  
  
Jensen reaches out, gently untangling Jared’s fingers from his shirt, twining their fingers together. “We deal with it, like we have this whole time,” he answers simply. “I know that you aren’t completely better, Jay. But you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Maybe you’ll have a set-back, maybe you won’t. But either way, we’ll deal with it, together.”  
  
Jared smiles and leans forward, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jensen’s lips. “I love you,” he whispers.  
  
“I love you, too.”  
  
“I don’t wanna wait to get married,” Jared says softly, nuzzling under Jensen’s chin. “If you… if you’re serious about it, let’s not wait.”  
  
Jensen wraps his arm around Jared’s waist, gently pushing him back so that he’s laying across the mattress. “Really?”  
  
“Yeah, really,” Jared whispers, a small, tentative smile curling up his lips, a hint of those dimples that Jensen lives for peeking out at him.   
  
“Fuck, yeah,” Jensen breathes, dipping down to press a kiss to those smiling lips. “As soon as we can. Next month. Hell, next week. Fuck, baby, we can go to the courthouse tomorrow if you want.”  
  
Jared laughs, bright and brilliant and unrestrained, and it’s music to Jensen’s ears. “How ‘bout we shoot for next month? That’ll give us time to still do it right.”  
  
“I don’t care,” Jensen replies. He really doesn’t. They can elope, go to a justice of the peace, whatever it takes, he just wants Jared to be his husband, to legally be his. “Long as I get to have you, it doesn’t matter to me.”  
  
“You already got me,” Jared says softly, biting down on his bottom lip, his eyes clear and bright where he’s staring up at Jensen.  
  
Jensen smiles and dips down again for another kiss, then another, can’t stop kissing those perfect, wide, candy-pink lips. Jared wraps his arms around Jensen’s shoulders, his fingers absentmindedly playing with the short hair at the back of Jensen’s neck. “So we’re really gonna do this?” Jared asks after a few moments.   
  
Jensen shifts so that he’s stretched out at Jared’s side, his weight resting on his forearm, his other arm wrapped around Jared’s lean waist. “Yeah, we are,” he assures. “I… I know that things still aren’t perfect, that there’s still gonna be things that come up. But I…I honestly don’t care, Jared. I meant what I said when I proposed. I love you, so fuckin’ much. And I just wanna put everything else behind us, as best as we can, and start lookin’ toward the future.”  
  
Jared smiles again and inhales deeply, his eyes searching Jensen’s for a long few moments. “Okay,” he breathes. “’m right there with ya, babe.”  
  
Jensen smiles and pulls Jared closer, nuzzling into the soft hair behind his ear. “I can’t fuckin’ wait.”  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jared smiles when he looks up from the skillet that he’s frying bacon in, his heart skipping a beat at the sight of a still sleep rumbled Jensen. His boyfriend really is just too fucking adorable before he’s had his coffee in the morning. Jared hands him a cup – made just the way he takes it – and Jensen moans softly. “God, I love you,” he mutters.  
  
“I love you too, babe.”  
  
“I was talkin’ to the coffee,” Jensen replies teasingly. “I mean, you too and all. But mostly the coffee.”  
  
Jared chuckles and shakes his head fondly. Jensen’s eyes are still mostly closed as he downs the cup in three large gulps. “That’s the only reason you’re marryin’ me, ain’t it? ‘cause I know how to fix your coffee for you.”  
  
Jensen’s eyes finally open to mere slits and he shrugs one shoulder. “It helps.”  
  
Jared laughs out-right and pushes his boyfriend toward the table. “God, you’re an ass.”  
  
“You love my ass,” Jensen shoots back with a wink.  
  
“’s a nice ass,” Jared agrees, shrugging one shoulder.  
  
Jensen leans up and kisses him softly when he puts a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him. “Mm, mornin’, love,” he says softly.  
  
“Mornin’, dear,” Jared replies cheekily.  
  
“What’re you doin’ today?”  
  
“Got a few classes this mornin’ then I thought I’d head over to Gen’s, talk to her about the wedding.”  
  
Jensen smiles and grabs Jared’s wrist before he can sit down in his own chair, pulling him down into his lap. “Jensen,” he huffs.  
  
“Shh,” Jensen whispers, wrapping his arms around Jared’s waist. “Wish we could both play hooky today, stay in bed all day long.”  
  
“Mm,” Jared hums, leaning back slightly against Jensen’s chest. “That sounds nice. But unfortunately, we can’t.” He turns his head enough to press a kiss to the side of Jensen’s lips. “But we should definitely do that this weekend.”  
  
“It’s a date,” Jensen agrees, finally letting Jared up so he can eat his own breakfast.  
  
His morning classes seem to take forever to finish but that could be because his mind is preoccupied with thoughts of Jensen and worry about the wedding. He knows that he wants to marry Jensen but he can’t help but still have some doubts.   
  
Gen squeals and jumps into his arms when he tells her that they’re getting married next month, her eyes shiny-wet with tears when she tells him that she’s happy for them. Thankfully, she agrees to help and they spend the rest of the afternoon starting to talk about the details.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jensen opens the door, expecting Steve or Chris, his smile dropping instantly off his face when he sees his mother standing on the porch. “Mom?” he asks, confused, and a little concerned.  
  
Without a word, she pushes past him, her nose wrinkling slightly as she looks around the house, at his pictures, her sharp gaze lingering on a few of the ones of Jared. She moves into the living room and sits down on the couch, looking up at Jensen when he follows her. “Since talking to Danneel doesn’t seem to have done any good, I decided to come and talk to you again, myself,” she eventually says. “I thought it would be better if it was just you and I as well, since the last time you insisted on baiting your father.”  
  
“Dad called me a fag and my boyfriend a whore,” Jensen counters. “I really don’t call that baiting him.”  
  
Donna flips a hand toward him airily, obviously not really caring what he has to say. “Are you still set on this ridiculous non-sense of being with that… man?” she asks. He can tell that wasn’t the word she wanted to use.  
  
“It’s not ridiculous or non-sense,” Jensen sighs, rubbing one hand over his face. “’m going to tell you one last time, mom. I love Jared. With all my heart. He’s an intelligent, beautiful, sincere human being.”  
  
“He was a prostitute, Jensen,” he mother states, matter-of-factly. “How can you… If you insist on being with a man, why can’t you find a decent one?”  
  
“He is,” Jensen argues. “More than decent actually. He’s amazing,” Jensen shrugs, “Honestly, I don’t care what you think. I hope that you can be happy for me, be supportive, be glad that I found someone who makes me so incredibly happy. But if you can’t, it honestly doesn’t matter. ‘m gonna be with Jared. No matter what anyone says.”  
  
“At one time, you were happy with Danneel.”  
  
“I was,” Jensen agrees. “And I did love her. But not in the way that I should’a. Not the way I love Jared.”  
  
“You know that this isn’t right. You weren’t raised to be this way, Jensen.”  
  
Jensen inhales deeply, pinching at the bridge of his nose. “It doesn’t matter, mom,” he argues weakly. “Sure, you and Dad and the church, everyone, always said how wrong being gay is. But that doesn’t change the fact that I am. I’ve always been, I was just in denial for a long damn time.”  
  
“Until that… Until Jared came along and turned you.”  
  
“He didn’t turn me. That’s not possible. He just opened my eyes to what I’ve always known, deep down.” Huffing a sigh, Jensen shakes his head. “I don’t expect you to understand, honestly, I don’t.”  
  
“People like him… they use people like you, Jensen. Can’t you see that?”  
  
Jensen snorts out a laugh, shaking his head. “Jared works and he’s back in school. He pays his own way. In fact, he bitches at me when I spend money on him. How exactly is that using me?”  
  
“Eventually, Jensen, his true colors will come out.” She pauses, reaching over to take Jensen’s hand. “Please consider going back to Danneel. She’s a good woman, from a good family, and she’ll take you back. She still loves you, even though you embarrassed her and yourself so badly. She can give you children, dear. Your precious Jared will never be able to do that.”  
  
“If Jared and I want a family someday, there are other choices,” Jensen grits out. “And as for Danni? I don’t love her, mother. And, even if Jared walks away from me tomorrow, if I ever tried to find love again? It’d be with a man. ‘m gay. You’ve got to get that into your head.”  
  
“I pray that you come to your senses before this goes too far,” she mutters, shaking her head sadly. “Before you get any more tangled up in this.”  
  
Jensen shakes his head and sighs. “Jared and I are getting married,” he says softly. “’m gonna spend the rest’a my life with him.”  
  
“Oh, Jensen,” his mother sighs. “I beg you to reconsider.”  
  
“There’s nothing to reconsider. He’s it for me. That’s all that’s to it.”  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jared frowns when he pulls up in front of the house, a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach when he sees a car he doesn’t know parked in the driveway. Just as he’s about to open the front door, it swings open and Jensen glances up at him, his eyes wide. “Jared,” he breathes.   
  
“Jen?”  
  
Before Jensen can say anything else, Jensen’s mom steps out onto the porch, her eyes narrow as she looks up at Jared. Heart pounding against his ribs, Jared glances back up at Jensen, not sure what the hell’s going on. “Ma’am,” Jared whispers, trying to smile as best as he can when he looks back down at Jensen’s momma.   
  
“One day, my son will wake up and realize the mistake he’s making,” she says coldly. Jensen sighs, opens his mouth, no doubt to argue or continue whatever they’d been talking about before Jared got home, but before he can utter a word, she storms off. Jared flinches as she slams the car door closed, turning wide eyes back up to Jensen.   
  
“You okay, babe?” Jared asks, noticing that his boyfriend is still simply staring off into space, unreadable expression on his face.   
  
Jensen’s gaze finally snaps back to Jared, his green eyes wide and blinking owlishly. “Shit, Jared,” he mutters, reaching out to pull Jared into a hug. “Are  _you_  okay?”  
  
“I’m fine,” Jared replies automatically, pulling back enough to look at Jensen. “’m kinda more worried ‘bout you right now.”  
  
“’m okay,” Jensen says softly, pulling Jared in again, close enough to press a kiss to the side of his lips. “C’mon, let’s go inside.”  
  
Jared follows Jensen into the house and flops down on the couch, looking up at his boyfriend expectantly. Jensen’s kind of looking everywhere but at Jared and Jared’s stomach rolls painfully. “What, uh, what’d she want?” Jared eventually asks when it seems that Jensen isn’t going to volunteer any information.   
  
“Huh? Oh, she, uh, she just… It’s just the same shit, man. Couldn’t get to me through Danni so she thought she’d come here and handle it herself. It’s no big deal.”  
  
Jared frowns and scoots closer to Jensen, gently taking his chin between his thumb and index finger, forcing Jensen to look at him. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Jared asks softly.  
  
“’course,” Jensen responds quickly with a smile. Jared doesn’t miss that the smile doesn’t quite reach Jensen’s eyes.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jensen plops down on the stool in front of the bar, rolling his eyes when Chris glances over at him, his eyebrows raised and a smirk pulling up one side of his lips. “Where’s Jared?” Christian asks, smirk in his tone to match the one on his lips.  
  
“At home, studyin’,” Jensen mutters, shaking his head.   
  
Chris tilts his head to the side, studying Jensen for a moment. “What’s wrong, man? You look like warmed-over shit.”  
  
“My mom showed up at the house,” Jensen says around a sigh, flashing a brief smile in thanks to Steve who sets a beer in front of him. He looks between his two best friends outside of Jared and shakes his head again. “Man, this shit sucks. I mean, I knew it was gonna be like this, ya know? Deep down, I knew they’d never accept Jared, or me even being gay. But she actually had the nerve to ask, if I insist on being with a man, why can’t it be a decent one.”  
  
Chris hums softly in the back of his throat, cringing in sympathy. “Dude, that sucks.”  
  
Jensen snorts, rolling his eyes again. “Yeah, ya think?” He pauses, downing his beer in three long drinks, waving his hand at Steve for another. “I just… She’s my mom, man. What the fuck?”  
  
Steve sighs as he sets another beer in front of Jensen, leaning his elbows on the bar. “Well, I mean, not to be a dick, but you just gotta decide if bein’ with Jared is worth it, Jen. I know that they’re your parents but… They’re never really gonna accept Jared. That’s just a fact. Even if they can get over the whole gay thing.”  
  
Jensen drops his head to the bar, exhaling deeply. “I need something stronger’n beer,” he mutters.  
  
“Have you talked to Jared about this?” Chris asks.   
  
Jensen shakes his head, which is still resting against the bar. “No,” he whispers. “I can’t. He’s… Fuck, he’s doin’ better but ‘m afraid to say anything, ya know? What if he has another panic attack or something? I can’t… I can’t go through that again. And I don’t honestly think he can either. I’ve been tryin’ so fuckin’ hard to be strong for him, to give him confidence and faith and all that shit but the truth is, this isn’t any fuckin’ easier on me.”  
  
Chris sighs and pats him on the back. “I don’t think he’s expectin’ you to be the strong one all the time, Jensen,” he says softly, carefully. “He’s a smart kid. He knows that this hasn’t been easy on you either but… I don’t know, man. Think you should be honest with him.”  
  
Jensen finally sits up, shaking his head. “I can’t. I can’t do that to him, man. He’s… he’s just startin’ to really do better, ya know? Goin’ to school and shit. I just… I can’t,” he repeats, voice trailing off. “What I can do right now though, is get fuckin’ drunk,’ he adds with another sigh. He doesn’t miss the concerned look that his friends share between them but frankly, right now, he can’t bring himself to give a shit.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jared looks up at the clock, chewing on his thumb nail. Jensen’s been gone for hours, which is really,  _really_  unlike his boyfriend. He jumps when his cell rings, frowning when he sees Steve’s name on the caller ID. “Steve?”   
  
“Hey, Jay. I… I think you need’ta come down here.”  
  
“What’s wrong?” Jared asks, throat tightening up, his stomach rolling painfully. If something’s happened to Jensen… No, he can’t let himself think that. Jensen’s okay. Jensen’s always okay. He has to be. Because Jared can’t live without him.   
  
“Jenny’s drunk,” Steve mutters.  
  
Jared blinks owlishly, shaking his head even though he knows that Steve can’t see him. Sure, Jensen will go to the bar – usually when they’re together – but Jared’s never seen him actually get  _drunk_. And if Steve’s calling him to pick Jensen up, that can’t be good. “What happened?”  
  
“’s… Fuck, ‘s a long story but he… Can you just come down here and get him?”  
  
“Uh, yeah,” Jared mutters, pushing himself to his feet and grabbing his keys. “’m on my way.”  
  
Thankfully, Steve’s bar isn’t that far away from the house and it doesn’t take Jared long to get there. His hands are shaking and his stomach is still tied in knots and he feels like he’s going to puke but he tries to ignore all that. Jensen needs him right now. And after all the times that it was Jensen that was taking care of Jared, he owes this to his boyfriend.  
  
When he walks in and catches Steve’s eye, the older man points him toward the back corner. Jensen’s in a booth, mostly sprawled across the seat, his eyes closed. Jared sighs and sits down next to him, gently shaking his shoulder. “Jen? C’mon, babe, ‘mma take ya home,” he says softly.   
  
Jensen’s eyes flutter open slowly, his drunken gaze taking a few long moments to settle on Jared’s face. “Jared,” he breathes, awkwardly trying to sit up and pull Jared into his arms. “What’re ya doin’ here?” he slurs, one hand pawing at Jared’s face.  
  
Jared grabs his wrist and helps him out of the booth, wrapping Jensen’s arm around his shoulders. “’mma take you home,” Jared repeats, struggling to keep both of them on their feet.   
  
“Home,” Jensen sighs, nodding his head a few times. “When… when we get there, wantchu to fuck me,” he blurts out. “You don’t… we haven’t…” he trails off with a huff, trying to look up at Jared instead of walking toward the door.   
  
Jared rolls his eyes, trying his best to ignore his highly intoxicated boyfriend. But Jensen stops when they’re next to the bar, smiling brightly when he sees Steve. “We should have a beer!” he yells, pulling away from Jared.  
  
Jared grabs him around the waist and pulls him against his side. “How the hell’d he get this wasted?” he grits out.  
  
Steve shrugs a shoulder and shakes his head. “I have no idea, man. I cut him off hours ago.”  
  
Jensen giggles, leaning heavily against Jared’s side. “I took a bottle,” he tries to whisper but ends up half-yelling still. “Hid in Steve’s office ‘cause I knew he’d be pissed.” Jared frowns, shaking his head. “Oh,” Jensen breathes. “Yer pissed too.”  
  
“’m not pissed,” Jared answers tightly, once again trying to move Jensen toward the door. Thankfully, this time, his boyfriend actually lets him. He manages to get them to the car, Jensen leaning heavily against the passenger’s side door. He flails one arm out, trying to grab Jared. “Jensen, stop,” Jared commands, shaking his head.  
  
Jensen looks up at him, bright green eyes huge and a little wet, glazed over with tears and alcohol, his plump lips pulled down into a pout. “You’re pissed,” he repeats, not much more than a whisper.  
  
“No,” Jared sighs. “’m not pissed. Just… I don’t know, confused, I guess. Disappointed, maybe.”  
  
Jensen reaches up, poking one finger into his cheek. “Wanna see ‘em, Jay.”  
  
“See what?”  
  
“Dimples,” Jensen answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Know that you’re not mad if I see ‘em. Know you still love me.”  
  
“Of course I still love you, dumbass,” Jared snaps, shaking his head again. “I just… I just wanna get you home ‘fore you pass out okay? Please, Jensen?”  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen sighs, finally letting Jared open the car door and get him inside.  
  
Getting into the house isn’t as hard as getting out of the bar. Jensen’s gone quiet, blinking slowly, letting Jared essentially carry most of his weight into the bedroom. Jared lays him down on his side, grabs the garbage can and sets it next to him before going to get a glass of water and some Tylenol. He knows without a doubt that Jensen’s going to have the hangover from hell tomorrow. Jensen takes the pills and drinks the water without issue but when Jared goes to move away, his hand snaps out, grabbing Jared’s wrist. Jared looks down at him, one eyebrow raised in silent question. “’m sorry,” Jensen whispers. “Love you so much, Jared. Tried so damn hard.” He stops, blinking back tears. “Tried to do everythin’ right. But I can’t… ‘m sorry.”   
  
Jared reaches down, running his hand over Jensen’s head. “’s okay,” he whispers. “Just sleep it off, ‘kay? We’ll talk tomorrow.”  
  
“Don’t go?” Jensen breathes, his eyes already sliding closed. “Don’t ever wantchu to go.”  
  
Jared pulls the chair in the corner over next to Jensen’s side of the bed and curls up as best as he can, watching over his boyfriend as he sleeps.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
The first thing Jensen becomes aware of when he wakes up is a blinding, throbbing pain in his head. The next is the fact that it tastes like something died in his mouth. Which promptly makes his stomach roll and his eyes snap open, the dim light of early morning stabbing into his eyes like hot pokers. He groans and leans over, barely seeing the garbage can through bleary eyes. His stomach heaves and he pukes what he’s pretty fucking sure is straight whiskey, flopping back onto the bed with a low groan of pain once he’s done.  
  
He jerks as much as his aching body will allow when he feels a cool, damp cloth sliding over his face, down his neck. He forces his eyes open again, groaning once more when he sees Jared leaning over him. “Fuck, ‘m dyin’,” he mutters.  
  
“You’re not dyin’,” Jared answers softly. “You just have a hangover ‘cause you were a dumbass last night and tried to drink your weight in whiskey.” He pauses, reaching over toward the table for something Jensen can’t see. “Open up,” he commands, his fingers pressing against Jensen’s lips.   
  
He does as Jared says, swallowing the pills he shoves into his mouth with a glass of water. Once he’s done, he looks up at Jared again, his stomach rolling once more as his heart slams against his ribs. He doesn’t remember a lot from last night, mostly snippets of conversation and flashes of Jared’s disappointed face. “’m sorry,” he mutters, running one hand down over his face.  
  
“Mmhmm,” Jared hums in the back of his throat, his nose wrinkling when he glances down at the trash can. “You gonna puke again?”   
  
“No.” With a sigh, Jensen pushes himself up, the room spinning slightly. “Fuck, think ‘m still a little drunk,” he murmurs, mostly to himself.  
  
“Yeah,” Jared snorts. “Considering how much you probably drank last night, ‘m not surprised.”  
  
Jared mostly isn’t looking at him, busying himself with straightening up the bedroom but his shoulders are tense and from the brief flash of Jared’s face he caught, his boyfriend’s lips are pulled into a thin line and his normally expressive hazel eyes are dull and guarded. He hasn’t seen that look on Jared’s face in a long damn time. “Do we need’ta talk about this?” he asks softly.  
  
“There’s nothin’ to talk about,” Jared answers icily. “Go get a shower, you reek.”  
  
Not wanting to piss Jared off even more, Jensen does as he’s told, stumbling his way into the bathroom and into a shower. The warm water feels like heaven on his tired, sore muscles and it serves to help sober him up the rest of the way. Once he’s done and brushed his teeth, he actually feels mostly human again.   
  
Jared’s in the kitchen when he gets out, a plate of dry toast on the table in front of Jensen’s chair. “Thanks,” he whispers. Jared merely grunts at him, focusing entirely too hard on reading the paper. After choking down the toast, he gets up and kneels down next to Jared’s chair, gently gripping his chin and forcing Jared to look at him. “’m sorry, baby,” he says again, stronger this time.  
  
Jared just shakes his head, pulling away from Jensen’s grip. “You said that,” he mutters. “Several times actually. But what you haven’t told me is why.”  
  
Jensen sighs softly, his eyes sliding closed for a moment. He wants nothing more than to take Jared into his arms and soothe over the hurt look in his beautiful eyes. “I don’t… I don’t really know,” Jensen eventually whispers, shaking his head.   
  
“Bullshit,” Jared grits out, angrily pushing himself up out of his chair. “This isn’t like you, Jensen! There’s got to be a fuckin’ reason for it.”  
  
Jensen stands up as well, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Yeah, I… You’re right, okay? But whatever you’re thinkin’, that’s not it.”  
  
“’m not thinkin’ anything!” Jared yells. “I don’t have the first Goddamn clue why you’d do this.” He stops, his eyes sliding closed, his fists clenched at his sides. “’m tryin’ real fuckin’ hard to understand, Jensen. I really am. But you’re not givin’ me anything to work with.”  
  
“I can’t, okay?!” Jensen finally snaps. “I went out last night to talk to my friends ‘cause I can’t talk to you…”  
  
“You can always talk to me,” Jared interrupts harshly. “’s a two-way street, Jen. You preach to me constantly that I can talk to you, that I can come to you with whatever’s goin’ on. Well the same applies.”  
  
“No it doesn’t,” Jensen grits out, pacing the kitchen. “I can’t… I never know what’s gonna set you off, Jay. And I don’t wanna put that on you.”  
  
“So you think ‘m weak? That I can’t handle it?”  
  
“That’s not what I said!” Jensen cries.  
  
“That’s what you meant though.” Jared runs one hand through his hair, tugging a little on the strands. “Just… Just tell me what the hell happened.”  
  
“’s… Just… This shit with my mom,” Jensen eventually mutters, shaking his head. “I knew… I knew that she’d never accept it but damnit it hurts more than I thought it would, okay?”  
  
Jared licks his lips, his shoulders slumping. “I… ‘m sorry, Jensen,” he whispers. “That… ‘s my fault…”  
  
“No,” Jensen breathes, taking a tentative step toward his boyfriend. When Jared doesn’t move, he closes the rest of the distance between them. “’s not your fault, Jared. She… it’s not just you she can’t accept, okay? It’s me too.” He reaches out, sliding his arm around Jared’s lean waist. The sheen of tears in Jared’s eyes breaks his heart. “’s okay, baby,” he soothes. “It doesn’t matter. I wanna be with you.”  
  
Jared swallows thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and smiles sadly. “It matters to me,” he whispers thickly. “I love you, Jensen. God… So fuckin’ much that it hurts. But I can’t… I lost my family ‘cause’a who I am. I can’t… I can’t take yours away too. ‘specially when I see how much it’s affectin’ you.”  
  
“What…” Jensen pauses, clearing his too tight throat, “What’re you sayin’?”  
  
“I think that it’d be best if we call off the wedding. Go our separate ways.”  
  
“No,” Jensen gasps, shaking his head as tears sting the corners of his eyes. “’m not… I can’t lose you, Jared. Not after everything.”  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Pulling away from Jensen takes more strength than Jared honestly thought he possessed but he manages. He’d spent all of last night thinking while he watched Jensen sleep. Deep down, he knew that this had to be what drove Jensen out of the house last night and into a bottle of whiskey. The confirmation just firms his resolve.   
  
It hurts. God, it hurts like nothing he’s ever felt before but he takes a step back, shaking his head when Jensen tries to follow. “If… She might be able to accept you if you weren’t with me,” he croaks out.  
  
“Baby,” Jensen whispers, a few tears breaking free to streak down his cheeks. “It doesn’t matter,” he repeats. “I don’t wanna be with anyone else.”  
  
“Give it time, Jensen. You… You’ll find someone else. Someone that your momma will approve of. Then you can have your family back.”  
  
“I don’t give a damn!” Jensen cries.  
  
“Yes you do,” Jared says softly. “If you didn’t, it wouldn’t’a hit you so hard last night.” He smiles sadly, sniffling back tears. “Don’t forget, Jensen, I know what it feels like to lose your momma. I know how much that hurts. I… ‘m not worth that.” He turns around and heads for the door, throwing one last glance at Jensen over his shoulder. “Take care, Jen,” he whispers.   
  
It’s no surprise that Jensen follows him, pressing him against the front door, his arms wrapped around Jared’s waist, his chest pressed against Jared’s back. “Don’t,” Jensen begs. “Please, baby. Don’t leave.”  
  
“I… I have to,” Jared chokes out, his eyes squeezing closed when Jensen presses a kiss to the back of his neck. “Please… Jensen, don’t.”  
  
“I love you, Jared,” Jensen says, soft yet firm. “It doesn’t fuckin’ matter what anyone else thinks. And even if you walk out this fuckin’ door, ‘m still gonna love you.” One of Jensen’s hands slides up his chest, stopping right over his heart. “And I know that you love me too. ‘m not gonna let you run again, Jared. Not from me, from us.” His other hand slides down Jared’s stomach, gripping his hip, his fingers like brands against Jared’s skin even through the layers of demin and cotton. “We’ve been through so much… Don’t… Don’t give up on me now.”  
  
Jared relaxes back against Jensen’s chest, whimpering softly when his boyfriend presses another kiss to his neck, right over his pounding pulse. He knows it’s wrong – still firmly believes that Jensen is better off without him, that what he’s been worried about this whole time is true – but he’s weak, so fucking weak for this man that he can’t stop himself from taking this. Closing his eyes, he turns his head enough to press a kiss to the side of Jensen’s lips, tears spilling over to streak down his cheeks. Jensen pulls back enough to turn him around, his hands cupping both sides of Jared’s face. “I love you,” Jensen whispers, his thumbs brushing uselessly at the tears that won’t stop falling.  
  
“I love you, too,” Jared breathes, dropping his head down, forehead pressing against Jensen’s. “Need you. Please, Jensen?”  
  
Jensen nods, pulling away to grab Jared’s hand, leading him down the hallway to their bedroom. He strips them both down to nothing before gently laying Jared back against the mattress, immediately settling between his spread thighs. “Please don’t cry,” Jensen says softly, kissing over Jared’s tear-stained cheeks. “Hate it when you cry.”  
  
Jared honestly doesn’t think he can stop the tears if he tries but instead of saying anything, he reaches over and grabs the lube from the table on Jensen’s side. He flicks it open and pours some into his hand, eyes locked with Jensen’s as he reaches between them, his lube-sticky fingers curling around Jensen’s mostly hard cock, stroking until he’s fully hard.   
  
Jensen’s brow furrows when Jared grabs the base and positions it at his entrance. “Jared… Wait, baby…”  
  
“No,” Jared whispers. “Just this. Please? Just you.” He doesn’t want prep, doesn’t want anything but Jensen’s cock, wants to feel it, today, tomorrow, when he doesn’t have it anymore.  
  
Jensen shakes his head, trying to pull away, but Jared tightens his arm around his waist and shoves his hips down, impaling himself on Jensen’s hard length. They both gasp, Jared’s eyes squeezing closed. Sure, their sex life is fantastic and they fuck like bunnies usually but it’s been a few days and no matter how often they do it, Jared’s always tight at first.   
  
“Fuck,” Jensen grits out, one shaky hand coming up, pushing the hair off Jared’s forehead. “You okay?”  
  
“’m good,” Jared grits out. “Move, damnit.”  
  
“Jared… no.”  
  
Jared flexes his inner muscles, his hips thrusting up against Jensen’s, ignoring the searing pain shooting through his ass. Jensen moans like he’s dying, his hand curling into a fist in Jared’s hair. “Baby,” he whispers. “Just… slow down, alright?”  
  
“No, wanna feel you, Jensen,” Jared rasps. “C’mon, do it. Fuck me.”  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jensen’s honestly never felt so helpless in his life. Sure, the sensation around his cock is amazing, hot and tight and wet, and it’s _Jared_  which always makes it about a million times better than anyone he’s ever been with. But he doesn’t like the look in Jared’s eyes right now, hates that this feels more like goodbye than them making up after a fight.   
  
But he’s only fucking human and the exquisite heat of Jared’s fluttering inner muscles – the rippling channel damn-near milking his fucking cock – is too much to ignore. He pulls out slowly, not wanting to hurt Jared any more than he already has, but his stubborn, pig-headed boyfriend has other ideas. He grabs Jensen’s ass, his hips raising up off the mattress, fucking himself hard on Jensen’s dick. With a growl, Jensen picks up the pace, settling into the rhythm that Jared evidently wants, his hips snapping furiously.   
  
“Fuck,” Jared gasps, tossing his head back against the pillows, his back arching. “Fuck yeah. Just like that.”  
  
Jensen’s not going to last like this. The sensations and emotions and every-fucking-thing else are all conspiring against him. He wraps one arm around Jared’s waist and – in a show of strength that he’d be impressed with if he wasn’t balls deep in Jared’s beautiful ass – sits back on his heels. Jared damn-near screams, his shaky arms wrapping around Jensen’s shoulders as he settles his knees on the mattress, riding Jensen hard and fast and brutal. Jensen shoves one hand between them, his fingers curling around the hot, hard length of Jared’s cock, jerking the stiff flesh at the same pace.  
  
Jared cries out, his head falling back as he comes, his sticky release almost scalding against Jensen’s over-heated flesh. He follows behind almost immediately, his orgasm hitting him like a punch to the gut. Jared’s trembling in his arms and he lifts his head, immediately dropping it forward, hiding his face in the crook of Jensen’s neck. The hitched sob that tears from Jared’s throat breaks Jensen’s heart and he wraps his arms tighter around Jared, gently pulling his softening flesh from his no-doubt tender hole.   
  
Jared whimpers when Jensen tries to lay him back down on the mattress, his face still pressed against Jensen’s neck, his tears hot and wet against Jensen’s shoulder. “Shh, baby,” Jensen coos, petting down Jared’s back, over the back of his head, any place he can reach without having to sacrifice his hold on his distraught boyfriend. “’s okay, sweetheart. ‘m here. Shh, ‘s okay.”  
  
Jared finally lets Jensen lay him down, automatically curling up against Jensen’s side when he settles down next to him. He wants to ask, wants to know what’s wrong, what all that was about, but Jared’s breathing evens out almost immediately. He glances to the side, just now seeing the chair that’s usually in the corner right next to the bed. Jared must have sat up all night with him. Guilt rushes back in, bigger than before, damn-near choking him. He can’t believe he fucked up this badly with Jared.   
  
With a sigh, he tightens his hold around Jared, his own breathing slowing to match his boyfriend’s, his eyes sliding closed a few moments later.   
  
When he wakes up, the room is chilly despite the afternoon sun pouring in from the open curtain. And he’s alone.   
  
~~~~~~  
  
Genevieve’s eyes widen in shock when she opens the door. “JT? What the hell?” she gasps, grabbing his wrist and dragging him into the house behind her.  
  
“I left Jensen,” Jared mutters, the tears that he managed to finally get under control after he left the house stinging his eyes once again.   
  
“What? Oh my God. What happened?”  
  
“I just… I can’t…” Jared trails off, shaking his head helplessly.   
  
“Okay, alright,” Gen mutters, pulling him down onto the couch and up against her side. She pets one hand through his hair as he cries against her shoulder. “Shh, ‘s okay, Jare, we’ll work it out.” After a moment, she sighs softly, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of his head. “What’re you gonna do?” she asks quietly.  
  
“I’ve saved up enough so that I can probably get a small apartment,” Jared whispers, his throat tight. “Hopefully Steve’ll let me keep workin’, give me s’more hours.”  
  
“Of course he will,” Gen assures, hugging him tighter. “But you’re stayin’ here with us.”  
  
“I can’t do that to y’all,” Jared argues.  
  
“Nonsense,” Gen counters. “I stayed with you and Jensen for all those months.” She pauses, her fingernails scratching Jared’s scalp. “Even though ‘m married, we’re still family, JT,” she whispers. “Nothin’ changes that, ‘kay?”  
  
Jared sniffles and buries his face closer to her neck. “I love you,” he whispers back.  
  
“I love you, too.”  
  
They sit there in comfortable silence for a while until Gen makes him get up and go into the spare room to take a nap. Jared honestly doesn’t think he can sleep but his head is pounding from crying and lying down actually sounds like a pretty good fucking idea.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
The minute Jensen’s phone rings, he snatches it up, not even bothering to look at the caller ID. “Jare?” he asks breathlessly.  
  
“No, ‘s me,” Gen sighs.  
  
“He’s there?”   
  
“Yeah, I finally got to him to lie down for a while.” She pauses, inhales deeply before asking, “What the hell happened, Jensen?”  
  
“My mom showed up yesterday,” Jensen mutters. “And instead’a talkin’ to Jared or just dealin’ with it, I went to the bar last night and got drunk. I didn’t… It’s harder than I thought, dealin’ with this shit with my parents. But anyway… Jared said that he didn’t want me to lose my family over this, that he’s not worth it. I tried to tell him that he’s wrong, that it doesn’t matter. He, uh, he waited ‘til I fell asleep then I guess that’s when he left.” He swallows thickly, feels tears burning his eyes. “What’d he say to you?”  
  
“Nothin’. Wouldn’t tell me what happened, just that he left you.”  
  
“Gen, I… I have’ta get him back,” Jensen whispers brokenly. “I can’t… I don’t wanna be without him.”  
  
“I know, honey,” she says softly. “But… JT’s stubborn, Jensen, you know that. If he thinks he’s doin’ right, it’s not gonna be easy to change his mind.”  
  
“I gotta try.”  
  
“I know,” she says softly. “And ‘m glad that you’re gonna. I’ll try too but I can’t promise anythin’, Jensen.”  
  
“I know, sweetheart, thanks.”  
  
“Sure thing.”  
  
“Keep me posted, kay? Let me know how he’s doin’?”  
  
“Yeah, of course. He’s, uh, he’s gonna be stayin’ here with us right now so it’ll be easy for me to keep an eye on him.”  
  
“Thanks, Gen,” Jensen whispers.  
  
“No problem,” Genevieve sighs. “We’ll try’n fix it, I promise.”  
  
Jensen just hopes that they can.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jared sighs when he hears the door open. He knew that he should’ve locked it when the last customer left. “Sorry, we’re closed,” he calls out, not looking up from the glasses that he’s washing. He frowns when he hears the lock click, his head snapping up finally.   
  
Jensen’s standing there, leaning against the door and Jared’s breath hitches in his chest. Every time the older man has come into the bar in the last week, he’s made up some excuse to get away, to not have to talk to Jensen. And now, he’s trapped in the closed bar, nowhere to run to.   
  
Jensen takes a step closer, into the dim light and Jared’s floored by what he sees. Jensen’s normally bright green eyes are dull and glassy, red-rimmed like he’s been crying, and the thin skin beneath is tinged a sickly shade of purple. His normal five o’clock shadow is thicker than Jared’s ever seen, the reddish-brown scruff almost enough to be called a beard and his hair is flat against his head. He looks as tired and worn-down as Jared feels, the misery pouring off him in waves.  
  
“I can’t do this anymore,” Jensen rasps, his tone thick and rusty, like he hasn’t used it in a while.  
  
“Jensen,” Jared sighs, shaking his head.  
  
“No,” Jensen grits out. “We’re supposed to be gettin’ married in two days, Jared. Instead, you left. And ‘m fuckin’ miserable.” He moves closer to the bar and this close Jared can see the bags under his eyes. “I miss you,” he whispers.   
  
Jared closes his eyes, tears stinging behind the lids. Honestly, he’s not been doing so great without Jensen either. He’s angry and depressed and it takes every ounce of his will power to get out of bed to come to work. He’s even stopped going to his classes.   
  
“Please, Jared. Come home.”  
  
Jared reopens his eyes, gasping when he realizes Jensen has moved behind the bar with him, is close enough to touch. “I… I can’t,” he whispers.   
  
“You can,” Jensen argues. “It doesn’t matter what happened, Jay. Nothin’ else matters, can’t you see that? I love you. With all my heart, my fuckin’  _soul_. If my family can’t support me, can’t be happy that I’m in love with a wonderful man, then fuck it, I don’t need ‘em. All I need is you.”  
  
Jared chokes on a broken sob, his whole body trembling. Jensen reaches out and pulls him against his chest, those strong arms that he’s been missing so Goddamn much wrapping around his waist, fists clenched in the back of his t-shirt. Jared squeezes his eyes closed and wraps his arms around Jensen’s shoulders, letting himself essentially collapse against the older man’s chest. “Jensen,” he whimpers. “’m so sorry.”  
  
“Shh, baby,” Jensen coos, hugging him tighter. “’s okay, I promise. We’re okay. Just come back to me. That’s all I need.”  
  
Jared nods, pulling back enough to grab the sides of Jensen’s face, smashing their lips together. It’s messy and rough and frantic, the salty taste of tears mixed in between the slide of their lips and tongues but it doesn’t fucking matter. Jared aches with how good it feels to kiss Jensen again, to feel the strong line of his body pressed tight against his own. He feels like he can finally breathe again.   
  
Jensen pulls back with a gasp, one hand slipping into Jared’s hair, their gazes locked together and it’s like time stops moving altogether for a few heartbeats. Then they’re in motion, lips colliding, hands ripping at clothes, fingertips biting into familiar flesh. Jensen nips at his bottom lip drawing a low, broken moan from Jared’s chest. “Fuck,” Jensen growls, one hand shoving down the back of Jared’s jeans, fingers digging into his ass almost painfully. “Want you.”  
  
“Fuck yeah,” Jared breathes, rocking his hips forward, his head falling back as Jensen’s lips trail over his jaw, down his neck.   
  
“C’mon, let’s go home,” Jensen urges.  
  
“No, can’t wait,” Jared mutters, shoving clumsily at Jensen’s open jeans. “Right here. Fuck, c’mon, Jen.”  
  
“Don’t got anythin’,” Jensen rasps, even as his lips trail down to Jared’s collar bone, biting down hard.   
  
“Fuck,” Jared hisses. “Don’t care. Use spit.”  
  
“Jared…” Jensen starts, a warning in his low, whiskey-rough tone.  
  
“Goddamn it, Jensen,” Jared growls. “’s fine. Please, babe. Need you.”  
  
He gasps when Jensen spins him around, pushing him over the bar. Strong hands clamp down on his ass, pulling his cheeks apart and Jared cries out with the first swipe of Jensen’s tongue along his rim. He doesn’t waste time teasing like he usually does when he rims Jared, his tongue firm and insistent, pushing against the tight ring of muscle. It’s wet and sloppy and Jared can feel spit running down his balls but he doesn’t fucking care. He’s hard enough to cut glass, his cock aching and leaking like a busted pipe. He grunts when one thick finger pushes in next to Jensen’s tongue, his boyfriend immediately brushing against his prostate, and Jared’s fingers dig into the scarred wood of the bar, trying to find purchase.   
  
Jensen preps him quickly but thoroughly, wet and sloppy, and Jared can’t wait any longer. “Shit,” he gasps. “Okay, fuck… C’mon, Jen.”  
  
Jensen pulls his fingers away, crowding up against his back, and Jared hears him spit twice, the wet slap of skin against skin, feels the thick head of Jensen’s cock nudging at his entrance. He shuffles his feet apart, bending more at the waist, his eyes sliding closed as Jensen pushes forward.  
  
“Fuck,” Jensen groans. “Baby… You gotta breathe. Relax for me, Jay.”  
  
Jared inhales deeply, his whole body relaxing when he feels Jensen pressing a kiss to the back of his neck, didn’t even realize he was as tense as he was. “That’s it,” Jensen praises, both of them sighing softly when he’s buried to the hilt.  
  
Jensen pulls back slowly, eases back in gently a few times before setting a perfect, even rhythm, his cock huge and hard and hitting Jared’s prostate on every other thrust. Jensen’s hand slides across the bar, gripping the wood so tight his knuckles turn white as he picks up the pace. Jared slips his own hand over Jensen’s, their fingers twining together.  
  
He’s not going to last, it’s just too fucking good, but that’s okay. They’ll have time to do it again – and do it right – once they get home.  
  
Jensen’s strong, thick fingers wrap around Jared’s cock, his thumb sliding over the leaking tip, smearing through the steady pulse of pre-come, and starts to stroke. “Not gonna last, baby,” Jensen grits out, half-warning, half-apology.   
  
“’s okay,” Jared pants. “Me too.” He trails off on a harsh moan. “God, feels so good, Jen.”  
  
Jensen grunts in response, snapping his hips harder, twisting his wrist just right and Jared’s just done. He comes with a hoarse cry, his eyes slamming closed as he erupts over Jensen’s fingers. Jensen’s rhythm immediately goes erratic, slamming forward a few more times before pushing in as far as he can, his blood-thick length pulsing and twitching inside Jared’s still spasming channel.   
  
Jensen’s breathing just as harshly as he is when he collapses against Jared’s back, lazily nosing through his hair and kissing his neck. “You done here?” he rasps.   
  
“Yeah,” Jared breathes.  
  
“Good. Wanna take you home. Get you back into our bed.”  
  
Jared smiles and forces his head to turn enough to press a kiss to the side of Jensen’s head. “Sounds perfect.”  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Pulling away from Jared is harder than it’s ever been but Jensen makes himself move. Jared’s quiet as he redresses, his hair falling down over his forehead, hiding his eyes and Jensen’s broken heart pounds against his ribcage. Once they’re both dressed, Jensen grabs Jared around the waist, pulling him against his chest, his hand shaky as he pushes the hair off Jared’s face. “You,” he pauses, clearing his too tight throat, “You meant it right?” he whispers hoarsely.  
  
“Meant what?” Jared asks softly.  
  
“That you wanna come home?”  
  
“I did… I do… But, I just… ‘m sorry, Jensen.”  
  
“Shh,” Jensen whispers. “You don’t have’ta apologize.”  
  
“Yeah, I do,” Jared argues. “Please, just… Let me say this okay?” he waits for Jensen to nod, “’m sorry that I took off the way I did and that I hurt you. Again. But I still… I still feel the way I felt when I left, Jen. ‘m not worth losin’ your family for.”  
  
“You are to me,” Jensen insists, wrapping his arms tighter around Jared’s lean waist. “I love you, Jared. And I wanna spend the rest’a my life with you. That’s what matters.”  
  
Jared smiles softly, a hint of those dimples that Jensen lives for peeking out at him. “There they are,” he whispers, leaning forward to press a kiss to the side of Jared’s lips. “Let’s go home? Please?”  
  
“Yeah,” Jared breathes, his eyes sliding closed for a moment. “I love you, too, ya know?”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“I just… I guess I got scared or nervous or whatever.”  
  
“You don’t need to be. ‘mma spend the rest’a our lives takin’ care’a you.”  
  
Jared goes quiet again while Jensen leads him out of the bar and into his car, not saying a word all the way home. Jensen’s still nervous, still unsure where things lie between them and he hates it. He hopes that Jared heard what he was saying finally, that the younger man will finally believe that nothing else matters but them being together.   
  
They strip down when they get into their bedroom, sliding between the sheets and Jensen automatically pulls Jared into his arms, relishing in the feel of warm, baby-soft, bare skin against his own. He presses a kiss to Jared’s forehead, smiling when his boyfriend looks up at him. “Still wanna marry me?” Jensen asks softly.  
  
“Hell yeah,” Jared breathes, leaning up to press a kiss to Jensen’s lips.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jared wakes up the morning of the wedding nervous like he hasn’t been in years. And considering some of the things he’s been through since he was 14, that’s truly saying something. Jensen’s side of the bed is empty and Jared lies there – alone – for several long moments, wishing like hell that Gen hadn’t talked them into spending the night apart. He could really,  _really_  use his boyfriend’s calming, reassuring presence right about now.   
  
His cell rings and Jared grabs it, not even bothering to check the display. “’lo?” he mutters, rubbing the last of the sleep out of his eyes.   
  
“Stop freakin’ out,” Jensen drawls softly, all slow, honeyed Texas twang and Jared’s heart skips a beat even as his cock twitches in his boxer briefs. It’s fucking amazing that the sound of Jensen’s whiskey-rough voice is enough to get him going on most occasions.  
  
“’m not,” he argues, just because he’s stubborn. It doesn’t matter, Jensen knows him too well.   
  
“Bullshit,” Jensen chuckles, predictably. “Think I don’t know that you’re lying there in bed, worryin’ ‘bout today?”  
  
“Shuddup,” Jared grumbles. “Think you know every-damn-thing.”  
  
“No, baby,” Jensen counters softly. “Just know you. Don’t worry, love. Everything’s gonna be great. Just a few more hours, Jay.”  
  
“Jensen! Get off that phone. You’re not supposed to be even talking to him!”  
  
Jared can’t help but laugh when he hears Gen yelling in the background. “Oops, babe. Sounds like you’re busted.”  
  
“Meh, it’s worth it for a few minutes to try’n calm you down. ‘sides, she’s tiny, she doesn’t scare me.”  
  
“She may be tiny but she’s mean as hell,” Jared jokes. “And she’s got a helluva right hook, man.”  
  
“Seriously, Jensen!”  
  
“You better go ‘fore you end up sportin’ a black eye at the ceremony,” Jared says around a chuckle.  
  
“Yeah, alright,” Jensen grumbles. “I love you and I’ll see ya in a few hours.”  
  
“I love you, too. And I’ll be there.”  
  
“You better be.”  
  
Jared smiles as he hangs up, feeling a lot better after talking with Jensen, just like he knew he would. He gets up and showers, grimacing slightly when he puts on the tux that Gen insisted that he and Jensen wear. Standing in their bedroom, looking at himself in the mirror, he doesn’t recognize the man staring back at him. Sure, it’s him – still the same long, floppy hair and dimples and tilted hazel eyes and sharp cheekbones – but there are so many differences. Mostly, the light in his eyes that he doesn’t ever remember being there, even as a child.   
  
He stands in their backyard, watching their friends arrive but mostly keeping his eye out for Jensen. His breath hitches and his heart slams against his ribcage when he catches sight of the older man; breathtakingly beautiful in his black tux, Gen on his arm.   
  
She cries when she gives Jared away then curls up under Steve’s arm. Jensen takes Jared’s hands in his and Jared notices the fine tremors running through his boyfriend’s body. “You okay?” he whispers.  
  
“Yeah,” Jensen breathes. “Excited.”  
  
“Me too,” Jared grins.  
  
Things are kind of a blur after that. He knows that they say their vows – ones they wrote themselves – but it all kind of feels like he’s on the outside looking in. Before he knows it, they’re being announced as Mr. and Mr. Ackles and Jensen pulls him down into a soul-searing kiss. Jared doesn’t realize he’s crying until he tastes the tears mingled in between the slide of their lips. It’s okay though, because there are tears in Jensen’s eyes too.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jensen smiles up at Jared, reaching up to wipe away a tear that managed to escape. “We made it,” he whispers.  
  
“We did,” Jared agrees. “Cause’a you. Too damn stubborn to let me run away all the times I tried.”  
  
Jensen pulls him closer, pressing another kiss to his lips – ignoring the cat-calls from their friends. “Never gonna let you leave me. I’ll always run after you.”  
  
Jensen turns toward the small group of people gathered in their back yard, his eyes widening when he sees his mom standing a few feet behind everyone else. Jared follows his gaze and gasps softly, his fingers tightening around Jensen’s. “’s okay,” Jensen whispers as she moves closer. “Mom… What’re you doin’ here?”  
  
“It’s my son’s wedding,” she says softly, darting a glance at Jared before refocusing on Jensen. “I can’t say that I understand this or that I’ll ever be okay with it and I can’t speak for your father but I… I wanted to be here.” She pauses, heaving a soft sigh. “You’re my youngest son, Jensen, and I do love you. It won’t be easy… knowing that you’re with a man but I… I want you to be happy. And I’ll try to be better about this.”  
  
Tears sting Jensen’s eyes when he lets go of Jared and wraps his mom in a hug. “That’s all I ask,” he whispers. “You don’t have to approve, I know you won’t, but just… knowing that you’ll try is all I can ask for. I am happy, mom. He makes me happy.”  
  
“That’s all I ever wanted,” she whispers thickly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I have a plane to catch. Perhaps I can visit again soon or maybe you could come home?”  
  
“It’d be best if you come here,” Jensen answers around a small smile. “I don’t think Dad’ll like it if I come there.”  
  
“You let me worry about your father,” she says firmly. Inhaling deeply, she looks at Jared again and straightens her shoulders. “If he decides to come home to visit, you’re welcome as well, Jared.”  
  
“Thank you, ma’am,” Jared whispers, ducking his head shyly.  
  
Jensen doesn’t argue that there’s probably no way they’ll ever go to Texas to visit. He’s pretty sure his Dad definitely won’t approve no matter what his mom says and he’d never subject Jared to that. Not to mention the fact that he’s pretty freaking sure his husband doesn’t ever want to step foot back into Texas because of his own parents.   
  
Jensen looks over at Jared after his mom leaves, smiling at the wide-eyed look on the younger man’s face. “See?” he says softly. “Thing’s are gonna be just fine.” Jensen pulls Jared against his side, wiggling his eyebrows. “What’d’ya say we go get the reception over so we can start the honeymoon?”  
  
“Now  _that_  sounds like an amazing idea,” Jared agrees enthusiastically.


End file.
